The Chuck Norris Facts Archive

Hi there! I hope you enjoy the Archive. My alter ego is Chuck and that is why I collect these jokes.



When monsters go to bed. They check their closets for Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris once shattered the space-time continuum. He felt so bad, he put it back together.


Chuck Norris makes onions cry !


In the Beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

Waldo is actually hiding from Chuck Norris


Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a coal mine and turned it into a diamond mine.

Chuck Norris does not do push-ups. He pushes the Earth down!


Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.


Chuck Norris was a pallbearer at his own funeral.

Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light.

Rev 6.16.2026

Welcome to JohnnyO’s World

I have spent my life playing music, tinkering with guitars and enjoying interactions with creative people. In this site I hope to improve the world by offering some tips on guitars, playing music and living your best life. You will find repair info, music reviews and just about anything else that might catch my eye. Thanks for stopping by. JohnnyO