{"id":121,"date":"2026-06-08T05:46:19","date_gmt":"2026-06-08T09:46:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/johnnyozelius.com\/?p=121"},"modified":"2026-06-16T05:53:40","modified_gmt":"2026-06-16T09:53:40","slug":"the-chuck-norris-facts-archive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/johnnyozelius.com\/index.php\/2026\/06\/08\/the-chuck-norris-facts-archive\/","title":{"rendered":"The Chuck Norris Facts Archive"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Hi there!  I hope you enjoy the Archive.  My alter ego is Chuck and that is why I collect these jokes.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br><br>When monsters go to bed. They check their closets for Chuck Norris.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>Chuck Norris once shattered the space-time continuum. He felt so bad, he put it back together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>Chuck Norris makes onions cry !<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>In the Beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Waldo is actually hiding from Chuck Norris<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a coal mine and turned it into a diamond mine.<br><br>Chuck Norris does not do push-ups. He pushes the Earth down!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>Chuck Norris was a pallbearer at his own funeral.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Chuck Norris doesn\u2019t flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rev 6.16.2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hi there! I hope you enjoy the Archive. My alter ego is Chuck and that is why I collect these jokes. When monsters go to bed. They check their closets for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once shattered the space-time continuum. He felt so bad, he put it back together. Chuck Norris makes onions cry ! &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/johnnyozelius.com\/index.php\/2026\/06\/08\/the-chuck-norris-facts-archive\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;The Chuck Norris Facts Archive&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[40,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pooredgarsalmanac","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnnyozelius.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnnyozelius.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnnyozelius.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnnyozelius.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnnyozelius.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=121"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/johnnyozelius.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":173,"href":"https:\/\/johnnyozelius.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121\/revisions\/173"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnnyozelius.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnnyozelius.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnnyozelius.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}